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| Don't worry, this entry will not be another boy sob story. It
seems like everyone read the last blog. People on campus that I
never talk to came up to me and asked if I was ok and said stuff like
"don't worry, the right guy will come along." A little weird but
thanks for the support. Life is all gravy now so lets see what
the hell I shall write about.
UCR Life: Formals(D n I) was great last night. I had the best
time ever and I'm sure everyone else did too. It was great
dressing up again (just like the good o highschool days). Sorry
guys for sleeping though the whole after party. You all should
know I turn into a grandma when the clock strikes twleve.
Dougy-hurry and post pics of us. I don't want to be cocky, but we
were all sexy bitches last night.
Thank God it's over: Last Saturday was my last performance for
Evolution. Thanks everyone for coming. I know it was frikin
HOT at the Union Station but it really meant a lot to me. No more
practicing till 5 in the morning. We came in fourth place and I'm
not telling how many teams we were up against. (5...lol), but we
did a great job and all the hard work was so worth it. I finally
have my life back, I'm reunited with my friends and it feels so good.
Me maturing and summer plans: So this year I have been so called
"trying to better my future" so this consists of going to the career
center often, going to career fairs, reseaching companies and sending
out my resume and blah blah. I've been interviewing a lot and I
got hired for a summer internship with a company called Lockton
Insurance working on a human resources project. They pay well and
it's in a nice office so I'm some what excited. Imma be working
from nine to five everyday for ten weeks in LA. There goes my
summer. So when everyone is out at the beach and partying all
night, don't tell me because you're going to make me so jealous...but
when the weekend comes around, Watch Out! ha ha.
I"m so mad: This indian girl that was suppose to rent out my
apartment for the summer flaked. Muther fucker...ok...so her
uncle has cancer and blah blah...but wtf. Now I have to pay for
that shit. What a waste...yes, i'm bitter.
Wow, this is a long entry, especially for me, but I probably won't
write again for another 3 months or so. lol. Yoster just left my
house and we had a great talk about how we are at the center point of
being kids and adults. The next two years are going to go by way
to fast and before we know it, Marriage, babies, more babies...ha
ha, ok I'm getting ahead of myself, but on a more realistic note, we
are growing up and it a bit crazy. I'm not so ready to grow
up. Me and Maxine found that out this year when we decided to get
a dog. We tried hard and failed. Kuma is in the trusting
hands of Pam and he is making her life miserable now. Love you
Pam! Lesson learn: I can't have a dog, Lesson learned for Maxine:
never going to have pets or kids ever in life. lol. It's
true.
My sophomore year is finally coming to an end. This year was
seriously so awesome. I loved it so much. I did so many fun
things and really made the most of it. I hope next year can
compare.
To Jeanifer-my roomy, (even though u never go on xanga) You will
truly be missed when you go to UClA next year. I know you won't
miss the crack heads, bad odor (cows), homeless ppl that dig in our
garbage here in Riverside, but just know, we all care about you the
most and this is your home (lol, so dramatic) Riverside will not
be the same without you and I know at least 50 ppl who feel the same
way. I will miss seeing your crazy ass 24-7.
Summer is here and I'm anxious to know who my summer flings will
be. ha ha. I hope I didn't just jinx myself. So
Everybody, have huge parties on fridays and saturdays and don't forget
to call.
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| Sometimes I wish...
I didn't have feelings, I wasn't so nice, I wouldn't let boys walk all over me and make me feel so small, my heart was made of steel, I could treat the boys I dig like shit because it would make them like me more, boys couldn't make me cry
Part of me says...
brush all my worries away and never look back, be a true player that never gets hurt, fuck commitment because in the end it is all a waste of time, be a bitch because they always get what they want
But then again...
why should I let a guy change the way I am, why should I let just a few guys take away my trust and hope that someone will truly like me for me, why should I let a few guys make me a cold, shallow, jaded, bitter, selfish person
I know who I am, and if I am true to myself I will not let a guy change me. When a good guy that knows what he wants comes around, it will be all good , and whoever that lucky mother fucker is...it'll all be worthwhile.
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| Thanks Maxine for making my xanga pretty. It's a little "morning
gloryish" but I dig it. Now I am more inspired to write on this
damn thing. It's two in the morning and I am still wide
awake. Just came back from the Lava Lounge and very sober.
My drinking days have come to an end. I didn't drink all break
and last night at lo's house I was like, "this is the night to Party
and get crunked" but it didn't happen. We made margarita's and
everything but it all tasted nasty to me. I guess this is a
good thing but it's just so fun to go buck wild once in
awhile. Wouldn't you agree?
Tomorrow is new years eve. Another freakin year has gone by in a
heart beat. It went by fast but it's been a good year.
Everyone is still hanging in there. I still go to school, I still
got my friends, and my parents still love me. What more can I ask
for? Let's face it. We are all blessed and very
lucky. Can you believe what happened in India, Thailand, Sri
Lanka, and the other places the tsunami hit?. Crazy! I was
just watching "The Day After Tomorrow" too. The movie kind of
freaked me out. I was like, "it's the end of the world!"
Lets all pray it's not. But seriously, I can't even imagine what
they are all going though right now. When shit happens like that
I think about how fortunate I am, and that thought does not come to
mind enough.
Well it's going to be a new year and a good year. 2005 is going
to be the shit. I don't know why but it just is. Make sure
you make lots of new years resolutions and stick with them. Live
it up tomorrow and make sure you find a good kissing partner when the
clock hits 12.
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